Hello, I'm David Shaw, and I will be your programmer for the evening...
Note that this is a major revision from the last version of MooMooEncode (which was 1.1, about a week ago), so please do read about the changes in "Version History" below. (I'd hate to have my neat animated cows go unappreciated!)
THE STORY OF MOOMOOENCODE:
"Okay, David, neat program, but what the heck is it good for?"
Let me explain. A few months ago, on the USENET group "alt.cows.moo.moo.moo" (ask your friendly neighborhood SysAdmin for it today!) Sean O'Gara posted a program he wrote to translate regular text into Moo's. In a fit of silliness he named it after the UNIX uuencode program and so called it moomooencode.
I ran across the code one fine day, and since I was about to take a class in C++ at the time, I decided to write my own version of moomooencode in C++. (Nothing like learning the subject material before you take the class!)
(Incidentally, you can see the improvement in the file-handling capabilities of the languages: the C++ version I wrote — which does basically the same thing — is about 60% smaller than the original!)
This sat around on my hard drive for a while until one day, in a fit of either boredom or extreme silliness, I decided to make good on my threat to my friends, and write a whole Mac application, which, dear reader, you now have.
SO, IS THIS SHAREWARE, OR WHAT?
MooMooEncode is not shareware, freeware, postcardware, or any such similar marketing scheme. MooMooEncode is HopkinsWare — just send a copy along to anyone you know at Johns Hopkins (with double credit if they are an admissions officer!) Hopefully, a year or so from now when I apply there for grad school, they'll remember the guy who wrote the goofy cow program.
If you don't know anyone at Johns Hopkins, you might send me a nice picture postcard of your home town (which hopefully would distract me from the fact that I am living in Newark at the moment). Send it to:
David Shaw
2 Gary Court
Scotch Plains, NJ 07076
U.S.A.
Anyway, I can't imagine charging for a program that translates text into Moo's, so feel free to give it away to anyone you like.
Four minor caveats:
• You can't charge for it, except for regular connect-time charges.
• If you put it on a CD-ROM or something similar, I want a copy.
• If you give it to anyone, please do include this README file.
• I am keeping the copyright on it, though heaven knows why.
Also, if you "register" the program by sending me mail telling me where you got it from, I'll notify you when a new version comes out.
INSTRUCTIONS:
There isn't too much to explain here, really. From the file menu, "MooMooEncode..." encodes, and "MooMooDecode..." decodes. From the Apple menu, "About MooMooEncode..." displays information about the program. You can click on my head or on the cow, if you really want to.
With this version, I added a new feature: Bovinifization. If you bovinifize a document, it will translate it into a sort of phonetic represenatation of how a cow might say it, assuming, of course, that a cow could talk.
The program is heavily balloon helped, so if you turn on the balloons, pretty much everything (and I mean everything - icons, buttons, even background text) has a help balloon for it. (Please do let me tell you what an amazing pain in the tush it was to have the balloon follow the cow around in the elapsed time indicator!)
This program can read and exchange data with the UNIX and VMS versions of moomooencode just fine, but with two differences:
One major difference between the UNIX/VMS version and this one is in the way it handles bad data. Under UNIX or VMS, if any garbage was detected in the file, the decoder would ignore that line. This made it easier to pipe mail and USENET articles through it without removing the headers and signatures first. In this version, bad data is ignored, but the line it is on is not. This will allow you to include a moomooencoded line in your signature file if you so desire. It doesn't matter if the moomooencoded part is surrounded by other stuff.
Also, since the end-of-line characters are different on the Mac and UNIX or VMS, all files will be encoded internally in the UNIX/VMS format. Since it will automatically return them to Mac format when you decode, you don't have to worry too much about this. It is only necessary to make things compatible with the UNIX/VMS version.
IT'S-NOT-A-BUG-IT'S-A-FEATURE:
Those of you who are running this program on smaller screened machines with help balloons on may notice a strange occurrence. You see, on the introductory screen, I arranged the help balloons so that the little pointy thing on the balloon was pointing at the cow's mouths.
Well, as I discovered to my dismay while I was testing the program, when running on a smaller-screened machine, the help manager very kindly reasons: "Well, the balloon doesn't really fit over there, so I think I'll move it." Naturally, it moves the balloon to the exact opposite end of the help rectangle and sure enough, the balloon will then be coming out of the cow's tuchus.
There's not much I could do to avoid this, except for redesigning the opening screen, which I didn't really want to do as I liked the cows rampant guardiant (as it were).
If the strange balloon placement bothers you, you can think of it as the cow's rumens speaking. (For those of you who haven't yet read "All Creatures Great and Small", the rumens are the regular burbling and murmuring you get from the insides of a cow). You can look it up. By the way, while you're looking that up, look up "irrumator" - it's another good word to know.
COMPATIBILITY:
This program does require System 7 to run, because of some of the more recent file routines I used, but nowadays that isn't too much of a problem.
VERSION HISTORY:
Version 1.0: Original version.
Version 1.1: A week later, and one minor bug fix. Frankly, it's such a minor fix it doesn't really rate it's own release number, but Amber (see the "Special Thanks" screen) wanted a copy, and I can't refuse her anything.
Version 1.5: Another week later, and a major overhaul. Here are the changes:
• I added Bovinifization, the text-to-cow phonetic translator.
• I fixed a silly oversight: originally, no matter what type of text file you fed the program, it would always generate a TeachText / SimpleText text file as output. Now, whatever you feed it, it gives you back as output. For instance, if you feed it a Microsoft Word text file, it will generate a Word text file as output.
• The program can now operate in the background (if you so desire), so you can go ahead and switch to another application and the MooMooEncoder will happily continue processing.
• I added a snazzy little animated "time remaining" box to show how much longer it will take to process a file.
• While I was at it, I also added some brief online instructions, as people were sending me mail saying "What on earth does it do?"
• Approximately a zillion minor little tune-ups and enhancements.
BUGS:
As far as I know, there aren't any. If you find one, please do let me know by sending mail to me at dms1070@hertz.njit.edu.
If you get the "Problem!" alert, please send me the error message that it gives you. That message will help me track down exactly where and why the program went wrong.
David Shaw
Newark, NJ
Monday, December 5, 1994.
3:45 A.M.
Finals Season.
Why the heck am I working on a cow program when I should be studying?
